It’s time for the Worst of the Worst! Here’s the 50 Best Songs of 2013, but let’s start with the bottom of the barrel first, and wow, this list is BAAAADDDD.
10. “Come & Get It” Selena Gomez
If this is the best you got, Selena, I don’t want to come anywhere near it.
9. “Turn The Night Up” Enrique Iglesias
Just another song that follows the “We Found Love” formula for an EDM-pop song. It’s so cliche. Enrique talk-singing doesn’t help.
8. “Walks Like Rihanna” The Wanted
Seriously, someone wrote a song called “Walks Like Rihanna”. Someone really thought “yeah this is great”. This is part of the reason The Wanted are running WAY behind of One Direction’s success.
7. “Bangerz” Miley Cyrus featuring Britney Spears
It’s a shame that the title track off Miley’s album is so weak because the rest of the album is surprisingly great. A team-up with Britney Spears should have been epic. Instead it’s a wash with Miley thinking once again she’s a good rapper. Once Britney shows up, she just sounds embarassed to be part of this.
6. “Gentlemen” Psy
Nice try, Psy, but there’s no stopping that steep slope into obscurity. See ya.
5. “Jewels ‘n’ Drugs” Lady Gaga featuring T.I., Too $hort, and Twista
Gaga tries out hip hop and fails miserably. Artpop is a solid album, but this is awful. She tries to load up the track with rappers T.I., Too $hort, and Twista, but nothing can save this.
4. “Harlem Shake” Bauuer
You’ve already forgotten about this cultural phenomenon that happened this year. Yeah, it happened. And this song went to #1 on the Billboard charts. Hang your head in shame.
3. “Kisses Down Low” Kelly Rowland
There’s songs that manages to be sexy by subtly being explicit. Kelly doesn’t bother with that here. She decides to be as blatant as possible with lyrics like “makes me arch my back, when you give it to me slow, baby just like that”. And next time, stick to one beat. The song changes direction like 5 times.
2. “Pussy” The-Dream
This song is not about The-Dream’s cat. He should get together with Kelly Rowland so they can grossly sing about body parts together. Once again, not sexy, just slimy. You’ll get shudder listening to this.
1. “#thatPOWER” will.i.am featuring Justin Bieber
And this isn’t even Justin’s fault (for once)! will.i.am made a lot of crappy music this year, but this takes the cake. Judith Hill proved that this song can be good (check out her awesome cover), but will.i.am’s chaotic production just completely wrecks it. Why must the rhythm completely change from the verses to the chorus? It makes it impossible to get into, and the rappers’ lyrics leave a lot to be desired.